J. Barrett

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

What happens to me at work

I realized as I was working yesterday that I really act differently when I'm at work than when I'm at home, or with my friends. I'm really serious, often resentful and jealous of my co-workers. I don't say very much, I don't make small talk very often. I feel almost like I have to be like this, watching everyone, being the best aide there is, even if I'm not recognized as such.

I wonder when this started. In my fraternity, I became quiet and too-serious often when one of the brothers did something that made me angry, as if by my silence, I was punishing him for what he did, and was slowly teaching him a lesson, moment by moment. I think that may be the definition of passive aggression.
It's difficult for me to deal well with people who have different ideas about what work is, what it means to do a job well. I can criticize constructively, I can support those who are working to make changes in their lives, but when they are completely out to lunch, I don't even know where to start.
I think today I'll try to smile, to relax, and to enjoy the day for what it is, not for what I want it to be.


At 12:48 AM, Blogger directionquest84 said...

Isn't it unfortunate that all the employees in a work environment can't have had an upbringing which emphasized a strong work ethic. It's difficult to know when to protest due to a lack of recognition, and when to continue to work diligently knowing that the recognition will come.
The fact that you appreciate the value of work ethic is admirable in itself.


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